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i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
