So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Panties = found
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