I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
