I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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