How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
