Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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