pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
