You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
