i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he fucked my hip out of place.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
