Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
vagina is talking i cant
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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