wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
bring money and cleavage
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize