discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
