she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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