Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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