she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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