The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just pee around me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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