Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize