My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
