I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
