i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize