Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
