Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
