cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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