Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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