I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Are we still banned from the library?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
