Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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