i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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