like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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