I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
