is your mom at the bar?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
