It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dick very happy bro
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
