The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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