Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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