i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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