She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
