remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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