I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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