can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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