His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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