I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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