oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
