do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
