i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
