cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
