he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
