So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
