gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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