i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
