forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
