i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
