my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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