Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
