drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
