This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
