WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
