Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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