If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
