508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
