i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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