I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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